Monday, February 18, 2013

Turning your tongue into a tool, not a weapon.

Our most powerful weapon that we have isn't one that have locked in a gun case, or get any safety training on. It's one we are born with. Our tongue. I am a believer that the words that we speak can be used to either build others up or wound them deeply with wounds that sometimes never heal. I sometimes still hear things that have been said to me and just the replay of it hurts almost as bad as the first time I heard it. Or when I need a little self encouragement I will remember something encouraging or loving that someone said to me and it can give me the boost that I needed in that moment.

The words we say to others often become their labels that they adopt for themselves. A lot of the labels that I struggle with are there because of damaging things that have been said to me over the years. It's not like I woke up one day and thought I was ugly - it took the words of others over time to make me believe that about myself. On the flip side, I have an amazing husband who tells me every day how beautiful he thinks that I am both inside and out so those words have helped to counter the hurtful ones.

Each day you have the ability to make a choice to think before you speak and choose the words you say to others. Why not take a step back to choose more wisely and choose to say things that will lift up people instead of a quick comment that can sting to the core or someone else who already comes to the table with past hurts and insecurities.

As a mother you have a choice to speak to your children in a way that will build their confidence, sense of security, and help to define the labels they will have for themselves. I certainly don't want my kids self labels to be stupid, ugly, not good enough, etc. I want them to believe they are loved, amazing, beautiful (inside and out) and good enough. I am not always the best at this, I'll admit. I am busy and life is crazy and messy so some days I shout out to them and I  know my words can sting but my prayer is that I spend more days sharing words of love and kindness and I try to allow myself some grace on the messy days.

James 1:19-20: This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

Proverbs 15:1: A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

Next time you speak ask yourself if this is something you would say if Jesus was standing right there next to you. I know it sounds silly but it works for me. Some days there are ways that I speak and I think to myself if Jesus was here he would be hurt by my choice of words. The thing is, He IS there. I want to speak in a way that reflects the love of Jesus to others. My gosh I am not there yet but I certainly do try!

So turn your tongue into a tool, not a weapon. Think before you speak and try to take a moment to understand the power you posses by the way you speak to others. Do you want to be someone's good memory when they need to reach into their memory pile for love and encouragement or do you want to be the voice they hear when they are in a dark, ugly place?

Today I pray: Sweet Jesus, please guide my tongue and help me to choose my words wisely. Please help me to speak in a way that would build others up and reflect your love. Please forgive me for the unkind ways that I have spoken to others. Amen.

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