No more lies.

I was living a lie. I told myself every day that I was ugly, unwanted, not lovable, etc. I told myself I was a bad mother, a bad friend, a bad daughter and employee. I looked in the mirror and I would often cry and the reflection I saw. I felt like I was an inconvenience to anyone I came across. I would leave social events regretting everything I said and feeling like I was an inadequate. I felt unvalued. I carried shame. I was in prison to myself.

God was tugging at my heart and He is so patient. I didn't want to be that way and think those things or feel those ways about myself but it was all I ever really knew. I had life experiences that started from the time I was small child that established those lies and since then I've been making choices directed based on what I believed about myself.

I made agreements with the enemy and while I was going through life just fine and holding it together my soul was self destructing and my spirit was asleep.

It wasn't until I decided to go deep, tackle the lies and really spend time with God asking Him what His truth said about it that I was able to be free and start becoming the woman that God wants me to be.

I am not going to get into the details about the specific lies I believed or how they got imprinted into me because that's not really important. I also choose to not get into the details of the truths that God shared with me because that's very personal. However, I will say that I have never felt more free.

Being free means I walk in truth, not in lies. I no longer agree with the enemy when he whispers dirty little lies or me or tries to influence me to make decisions. I seek God's truth. I literally do not believe the lies any more and they have zero power over me. How awesome is that!? I know this sounds crazy, and I know it sounds too easy but really, it's THAT simple. I am a changed woman by the way I handle things, small and big. I am changed by the choices I make. I am changed by the way I am with others and by the way I receive relationships. I am changed by the way I speak to myself about myself!

Am I 100% perfect all the time? Heck no! But when I make mistakes I do not dwell. I allow myself grace. Do I still struggle with my looks? Of course! But, the negative self comments are far and few between and when they happen I just remember that I'm God's girl and I am made to be exactly how I am. Do I struggle with being a mom? You betcha. But I begin again and realize that a bad moment as a mother doesn't make me a bad mother.

Being free allows me to sit in church and listen to my Pastor preach without feeling heavy or shame. I don't hear the enemy telling me that I'm not loved and that's why I sit alone every Sunday and that all the other woman who have husbands are lovable and I'm not. I don't hear bible verses about sin and shame myself or allow the enemy to tell me I'm a whore, a bad mother or a loser. I sit there and I don't feel heavy, I feel free. I am able to fully receive the truth. I hear messages of love, grace, forgiveness and I hear that I was worth dying for by a man who loved me more than any man can or ever will. My savior Jesus died on the cross for YOU and me!!

What are the lies you tell yourself? What is it that you believe? Not good enough? Unlovable? Not worthy? Loser? Ugly? Bad mom? Ask yourself that question and write them down. Think about choices you made - relationships you entered, jobs you took or didn't take, words that were spoken or even unspoken all because you believe a certain way about who you were or what you thought you were worth. Spend time with God and ask Him about it, ask him what He has to say about you being ugly or a bad mom or whatever else. I promise you He will tell you. I promise!

Let go of the lies ladies. Give them to God! Walk in truth, walk in freedom. Do not let the enemy kill your spirit and destroy your soul. You are good, you are worthy, you are lovable, you're beautiful, you're enough. Make agreements with the truth, shed those prison chains and become free to your true self.

xoxo
CW