23 vs 33

Today I sit here 33 years old. I'm really still a puppy but compared to myself at 23 I'm pretty damn grown up! I was thinking about my life over the past 10 years and how it's kind of come full circle. I am in a similar situation that I was in 10 years ago but I'm not the same gal I was 10 years ago. I was thinking of the significant differences at 23 vs. 33 and so here it goes:

Financial Security - So money is really the root of all evil, but that said it sure does help. My 23 year old self was not as financially secure as I am today. Some of that comes with time, stronger career, hard work, etc. But  a lot of it comes from wisdom and making smart choices. Sure we all like to blow our cash on stuff we want but there's a better sense of security that comes from having money in the bank, a roof over your head and not needing to worry about tomorrow. So at 23 I would just live in the moment financially and spend, spend spend without thinking about my future and at 33 I'm living for the future financially! I mean before I know it I'll be at retirement age if the next 30 years go as fast as the last 30....

It's gonna be okay! - So at 23 a crisis would happen and it was the end of the world to me! Oh boy would I worry, cry, be upset and feel like life was over FOREVER. At 33 I have been through enough to know that really, it's gonna be alright. It just is! I believe this because I know that God's plan for me is great than I could ever imagine for myself. Do I still worry? Sometimes, yes. Do I still get upset and emotional? Of course, I am human. But the difference between 23 and 33 is at 23 it would paralyze me. At 33 it drives me!

Love - Love at 23 was something that I thought I needed. At 33 it's something I don't want anymore (well I say that but if you really knew my heart you would know that's not true). In all seriousness love is more than actions and words. Love is defined as total commitment. That's not easy to come by either. Think about your love for your kids (if you have them). You are probably totally committed and dedicated to your children, right? When I was 23 it was about being liked, wanted and twitterpated. Which, don't get me wrong, those things are pretty great. But at 33 it's about someone who will ride and die with you. Silly right? But really it's about someone who will be committed to you no.matter.what. That is what love is about. Save your roses, save your sweet text messages. Really all I want at 33 is someone who will show up for me. Day after day after day....Someone who will show up when I'm happy, someone who will show up when I'm sad, someone who doesn't have to say or do anything other than just simply show up for me. And not only will they show up, but they will stay....

Friendships - So when you're 23 you think that everyone is your "best friend." You think about who you hang with the most, who comes to all your parties, who makes you feel good to be around, bla bla bla. But at 33 a friend is someone who sees your ugly moments and loves you anyways. A friend is someone who supports you but calls you on the ugly too. And a friend is someone who doesn't make it about them but knows when you need it to be about you. And people are like seasons and sometimes drift in and out of your life and that's ok too.

Know it all - When I was 23 I thought I had things figured out. I was a mom of 2 and held my own and really by time 23 hit I had lived a lot of life compared to most 23 year olds. But looking back, I really didn't know much! And the thing about being 33 is I can still say - I don't know a gosh damn thing! Haha. Really, I am getting wiser in some areas but I am okay with saying "I don't know."

Boundaries - It's okay to set boundaries with people! At 23 I would just say yes to everything and really worried about everyone else. I actually did that up until this year and have been learning how to set boundaries. This has been HUGE for me. It's okay, to put limits on certain people and not everyone needs to know all the details about your life, or you can tell certain people no when asked for a favor or even say no to family when needed. My friend Shannon told me to give myself permission to set boundaries in my life and putting up those blocks on certain situations or people has actually allowed me the freedom!

They are all just as scared as you - Ever been to a job interview or on a date or anything similar and been totally nervous? When you don't have a lot of life experience under you things are pretty scary. And, the truth is, things are still scary 10 years later. But the difference is I have realized that they are just as scared as you are, if not more! The "they" could be anything or anyone. You know who "they" are in your life.

There's so much I could go on and on about. And really, it's not like I think I'm all that wise or a know-it-all, but I have gained some wisdom over the last 10 years and I continue to grow, learn, evolve and be a better me. I have no idea what I'll be saying when I'm 43 but all I can  hope is that me at 43 is better than the me at 33 and that's how I'll know I'm doing something right. I haven't been broken yet, or ruined or destoryed from what's been thrown at me, I've just been made better.

xoxo
CW