Who has God made ME to be?

As I've grown more in the church I have heard the term "who God designed you to be" come up quite a bit. More so during events like the Women's Retreat, community groups or while spending one on one time with individuals. This interests me because I really wish I knew who God designed ME to be and since I tend to be kind of a control freak, I'll admit this drives me nuts that I don't have the answer.While praying about this I clearly understood who God doesn't want me to be, so I decided to share that. I figure if I continue on with process of elimination then I might actually get my answer.

Below is what I have discovered He doesn't want me to be:

• Shamed - God doesn't want me to be someone that carries shame or shames myself. This is something I would do often and to the point of self destruction. I have always been way too hard on myself but I have learned there is a difference between holding yourself accountable vs. shaming yourself.  The only thing that shame does is separate you from growing in relationship with Jesus. There is a very real enemy that knows just how to shame you but there is a God who loves you and sent His son to die on the cross for you. God is FOR you and hrough being saved we are forgiven and freed and do not need to carry the shame any longer.

• Perfectionist - The great thing about Jesus is He loved sinners (that must be why He and I get along so good! LOL). As a recovering perfectionist I would be such a planner that I would put expectations on people and situations and I tell you what, when life didn't go as planned I would freak out. The life of a perfectionist is full of disappointment because nothing, or no one is every good enough. I am in imperfect person who is loved by a perfect God and there is so much freedom in letting go of things and letting God take control. When you put God first everything else just falls into place. And besides, life it too short to put so many high standards on everything. Pick and choose what's most important but learn to be flexible too.

• A Worrier - Oh my gosh - I wish I could take back all the time I've spent worrying! Worry creates such a panic inside me along with so many ugly emotions that I don't even have time to get in to it all. If there is one thing I know for sure it's that there is a peace that comes with giving it to God. All of it! Whenever something comes my way that causes me to worry I immediately pray about it and turn it over to God. I trust His will and plans for my future and  I have been through enough experiences to know that His timing is perfect, and His plans for me are far better than I could have hoped for myself. The more secure in Christ you become the less you worry about things.

• Hurtful - Sometimes I can be such a hurtful person. It can come out when I'm stressed, worried, feeling shameful or maybe things aren't going quite as I planned and man I can lash out. These are the moments I am thankful for new days and the ability to begin again. There are so many verses about loving each other or being slow to anger and they are there for a reason! I know that as I've grown in relationship with Jesus and give my worries to him my hurtful side rears itself less and less. The more I grow in relationship with Jesus the more I mirror Him and He uses me to love others through me. I can show His love and grace by the way I treat the people around me.

I honestly think that God is pruning me like crazy before He will let me know who He created me to be! I know the traits I mentioned are ones He defiantly doesn't want me to have because those are the ones he's been pruning in me the most over the last year or so. Sometimes Jesus needs to prune you before you can grow into the complete beauty you were meant to be...I know He has big things planned for me and is doing awesome work and change in me.